This is probably my first Buzzfeed-esque post. Why did I do it? Because I wanted to. Why pick 8 and not 18? Because I felt like it. Am I going to apologise for resorting to this cliché? Nope.
Incidentally, that’s the first thing on my list.
Stop apologising for what I want
It’s funny how we’re wired to feel guilty or ashamed for wanting or liking anything that goes against the general idea of what’s acceptable. It’s like suddenly you have to explain why you want what you want (usually to people who don’t even matter). You don’t even have to verbalize the apology. It’s there in the way you incoherently mumble your preferences, or follow it up with a lengthy justification or brush it off with a swish of your hand like it isn’t important. It IS important. If I feel like listening to Babydoll main sone di instead of the Bohemian Rhapsody – I will, without a smidge of shame in my eye. And if I want to stay in and stare at the walls of my room instead of turning up at a “friends forever” get-together, which ultimately ends up being an evening of passive-aggressive niceties – I will, without a single explanation.
No more rationalising unacceptable behaviour (or simply a bad human being)
There’s being understanding and then there’s being a complete idiot – and in my case, the lines often get blurred. Mostly because I have the superpower of rationalising just about anything or anyone while calling it my ability to “look at it from another’s perspective”. The result: I put myself through the same BS, over and over again. So, now my actual feelings are going to matter more than what I think the other person is feeling and my self-proclaimed obligation towards protecting their feelings instead of mine. If something doesn’t feel right, then it isn’t right. If someone is being an A-hole, then they’ll be called exactly that. I’m done lawyering up in my mind for anyone who doesn’t treat me with basic respect.
Prioritising friends over fraands
You know what I’m talking about. The former are the people you’d call your pack – the ones who run and howl with you in perfect sync and rip off the heads of anyone who harms you [be it for real or in their imagination]. The second are the acquaintances you call your best fraands only after you get blind drunk with them and who you would only hang out with if there’s absolutely no other better option. The former often gets neglected, because you know they’re going to stick around no matter what. The latter doesn’t care about you as such, and yet ends up demanding a lot of unhealthy investment in terms of your money, time and sanity in general. Why we spend any time at all with the fraands is a mystery – but it happens. And it should not – not at the expense of the friends. So, it’s the ones who have bravely and kindly and consistently put up with me all these years (and will, in future) that will be getting the lion’s share of my attention now.
Stop believing my own excuses
I’ve been wanting to capitalise on my freedom of being in a location-independent profession, by travelling more often. But I haven’t, because plans with friends never seemed to go anywhere, and I couldn’t possibly go alone, right? Same goes with my being consistent with this blog. I made myself believe that there’s no point in writing something subpar – so I’d wait until inspiration hits me. I’ve realized, whenever it’s something that really matters to me, I come up with spectacular excuses for why I’m not doing it yet. I make it look like the situation is out of my control, when the truth is, I’m just looking for a way to avoid going out of my comfort zone or baring myself to possible criticism. And this has to stop. If I don’t get a companion, I’ll travel solo. And I’ll make myself write a post, regardless of what I feel like. Time to adult like an adult.
Not dulling my dazzle for anyone
Sometimes you’ll be too much for some people. They’ll feel ill at ease or intimidated if you unleash your full power, intelligence or beauty. So, just to fit in and make it easier for these people, you may end up toning your awesomeness down by a notch or 10. I know I have. And I also know it’s never worth it. What’s the point of being less than what you are? Instead of lowering myself to match the levels of such people, I’d rather replace them with the ones who celebrate me at my highest potential. The more you let your genuine self shine, the more you attract the kind of people who appreciate it and inspire you to shine brighter.
Saying YES more often (while maintaining a quality filter)
One of the basic parts of being an introvert is saying no as liberally as possible. Be it for a spur of the moment hangout plan or an activity I’ve never done before (or haven’t researched about enough yet) – NO would be my go-to answer. Well, not anymore. My theme this year is that of kicking myself out of my comfort zone as much as possible and immediately saying yes to things I’ve never tried – before my rational brain kicks in and slyly manages to change my mind. But, I’d be exercising my fair share of quality control on what I’m saying YES to. A general rule of thumb – sounds scary but might end up in an exciting opportunity or fond memory? YES. Sounds stupid and might end up in me throwing up and rolling in my own puke on the sidewalk? No, thank you.
Finishing what I start (but letting go of what’s draining me)
It’s amazing how I am stubborn where I should not be and anything but consistent where I should be. There’s no glory in rigidly holding on to what’s clearly not doing you any good. And there’s no point in doing something that’s important for your health, relationships, career or life only once in a blue moon. So I’m going to do a major reset in this area and do more of what matters and less of what doesn’t. So, being consistent with my posts on this blog? Aye. Not skipping a day of meditating? Aye. Holding on to a commitment that seems to be committed to draining me of my will to live? Nay.
Following (and holding on to) my bliss
To put it simply, I love being happy. I love to laugh, walk with a skip in my step, hum a Bollywood item number while making myself a cup of tea or dance in my shower – slip and fall – and get up and dance again. You know that feeling when you do something or see someone and it fills your heart up with this warm and pure rush of joy and gratitude? That’s my drug. So this year, I’m going to fill my life with more of such activities, people, and situations that bring me real bliss – regardless of it being socially acceptable. I’ve realized that happiness is really a choice – you can always choose something that can make you happy if you have the courage to do so. Because, often that choice will come across as impractical, non-ambitious, unimpressive, childish or even selfish. But it’s not important how others see it. What matters is how it makes YOU feel. If something (or someone) makes me break into a wide grin or makes my heart sing – it’s staying. Period.
Are there any attitude resets you’re planning on as well? Let me know in the comments section below! Also, happy new year guys! Here’s wishing it brings us all that we yearn for and more.